Resource · ~6 min read
Being an introvert.
In short
An introvert is someone who recharges in quieter settings and time alone, while socialising, even when enjoyable, uses up energy. Introversion is a personality trait, not a problem, and it isn’t the same as shyness or social anxiety. Introverts do best when they plan recovery time, choose the kinds of socialising that suit them and say clearly what they need.
Rose Markotic · Anxiety Skills Coach
Rose’s path here runs through more than a decade of clinical training and practice — graduate training at Santa Clara University and years inside Dr. David Burns’ TEAM-CBT group at Stanford, the home of the measurement-driven framework.
What are the signs of an introvert?
- —After socialising, you need time alone to recharge
- —You prefer one-to-one conversations to big groups
- —You like to think before you speak
- —You enjoy quiet activities and your own company
- —Noisy places tire you quickly, even when you're enjoying yourself
Introvert vs extrovert: what’s the difference?
The terms go back to the psychiatrist Carl Jung in the 1920s, and the core difference is about energy. Extroverts tend to recharge through people and stimulation; introverts recharge through quiet and time alone. Most people sit somewhere in between, sometimes called ambiverts, and lean one way or the other depending on the situation.
Introvert, shy or socially anxious?
Introversion is about energy: you like people, but socialising tires you. Shyness is discomfort in new social situations that often eases once you know someone. Social anxiety is a strong fear of being judged that makes you avoid situations you’d otherwise want. An introvert can be completely at ease in company; they just need quiet afterwards.
How to thrive as an introvert
1. Plan your recovery
If a busy, people-heavy day is coming, decide in advance when you'll have time alone, before or after. That isn't escaping; it's managing your energy.
2. Choose the shape of socialising
You don't have to love big parties to have close people. Suggest coffee for two, a walk or a smaller get-together. Closeness grows just as well in quieter settings.
3. Prepare for meetings
Introverts often prefer to think before speaking. Read the agenda in advance and note one or two points you want to make, so you get your voice in.
4. Say what you need
"I'd love to come, but I'll leave early" or "I'll call you tomorrow, I need a quiet evening" are clear, kind sentences. People understand far better when you tell them than when you just withdraw.
5. Question "something's wrong with me"
If you grew up being told to be louder or more outgoing, you may carry a sense that you're wrong as you are. Introversion isn't a flaw. Ask what it gives you: careful listening, depth, concentration.
Building a new circle after a move can be harder for introverts; see how to feel less alone and assertiveness.
When to see a licensed professional
If fear of social situations stops you working, studying or seeing people, or comes with panic attacks, low mood that lasts for weeks, or thoughts of harming yourself, please see your GP or a licensed professional. Coaching teaches skills; it isn’t a substitute for clinical care. The crisis resources page lists 24-hour lines for the UK and across Europe.
Frequently asked
Common questions
- What does it mean to be an introvert?
- Being an introvert means you recharge in quieter settings and time alone, while socialising, even when enjoyable, uses up energy. It's a personality trait, not a problem to fix.
- What is the difference between an introvert and an extrovert?
- Mainly energy: extroverts recharge through people and stimulation, introverts through quiet and time alone. Most people are somewhere in between and lean one way or the other.
- Is being an introvert the same as social anxiety?
- No. Introversion is a trait about energy, while social anxiety is a strong fear of being judged that leads you to avoid situations you'd like to be in. If that kind of fear is holding you back, talk to your GP.
- Can a coach help introverts?
- Yes, with managing energy, setting limits and handling work and social life in a way that suits you. Rose works online, in English, across the UK and Europe. The first 20-minute call is free.
Next step
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