Resource · ~6 min read
Indecisive.
In short
Being indecisive means finding it hard to make choices, big or small, often because of a fear of getting it wrong or of regretting it later. Indecision tends to keep itself going: the longer you delay, the bigger the choice feels. What helps is matching the effort to how much the decision matters, limiting options, naming what you value, setting a deadline and accepting a good-enough choice.
Rose Markotic · Anxiety Skills Coach
Rose’s path here runs through more than a decade of clinical training and practice — graduate training at Santa Clara University and years inside Dr. David Burns’ TEAM-CBT group at Stanford, the home of the measurement-driven framework.
Why am I so indecisive?
Indecision is often driven by fear: of making the wrong choice, of regret, or of what other people will think. Perfectionism plays a part too, because if there must be a perfect option, any choice can feel like a mistake. Stress and tiredness make it worse, since deciding takes energy. Asking everyone for their opinion can feel helpful, but it usually adds more voices and more doubt.
How to make a decision
1. Decide how much the decision deserves
Most decisions are small and reversible. Before you start weighing options, ask: how much will this matter in a month? Give a small decision five minutes, not five days.
2. Limit the options
Too many choices make deciding harder. Narrow it down to two or three realistic options before comparing them, and drop the rest without guilt.
3. Name what matters to you
Write down the two or three things you care about most in this choice, such as cost, time or how it fits your values. Then score each option against them, instead of going round in circles.
4. Set a deadline
Indecision expands to fill the time you give it. Pick a time by which you'll decide, put it in your calendar, and make the call when it arrives, even if you're not certain.
5. Accept "good enough"
Searching for the perfect option is often what keeps you stuck. Choosing something that meets your main needs is usually better than waiting for something that ticks every box.
6. Stop re-deciding
Once you've chosen, notice the urge to reopen the decision and the hunt for reassurance. Remind yourself you decided with what you knew, and turn your energy to making the choice work.
If indecision is about one big life question, such as where to live or whether to leave, see decision fatigue. If it comes from needing everything to be just right, see perfectionism.
When to see a licensed professional
If indecision comes with constant worry you can’t switch off, low mood that lasts for weeks, or thoughts of harming yourself, or it stops you functioning day to day, please see your GP or a licensed professional. Coaching teaches skills; it isn’t a substitute for clinical care. The crisis resources page lists 24-hour lines for the UK and across Europe.
Frequently asked
Common questions
- Why am I so indecisive?
- Often because of fear of getting it wrong or regretting it, a perfectionist belief that there's one right answer, or simple tiredness. Seeking lots of opinions can make it worse by adding more doubt.
- How do I stop being indecisive?
- Match the effort to how much the decision matters, narrow it to two or three options, write down what you care about most, set a deadline and accept a good-enough choice. Then resist the urge to keep re-deciding.
- Is being indecisive a sign of anxiety?
- It can be. Anxiety makes uncertainty feel dangerous, so choosing feels risky. But many people are indecisive simply from perfectionism, tiredness or too many options. The same skills help either way.
- Can a coach help with indecision?
- Yes. Coaching helps you clarify what matters to you and practise deciding with a deadline. Rose works online, in English, across the UK and Europe. The first 20-minute call is free.
Next step
Decide, then make it work.
Rose works online, in English, across the UK and Europe. A free 20-minute call sorts whether it fits.
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